Why the Only Bathroom for Miles Will Always Be Closed

It’s a universal travel truth: the moment you desperately need a bathroom, the only one for miles will be out of order, locked, or mysteriously “temporarily closed.” Whether you’re on a road trip, hiking a remote trail, or exploring a new city, the forces of the universe seem determined to test your bladder’s endurance. But why does this happen so often? Here’s a deep dive into the strange science of why the only restroom around is always closed.

The Murphy’s Law of Public Restrooms

Murphy’s Law states that “anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.” Nowhere is this more accurate than when searching for a restroom. The second nature calls:

• The gas station bathroom is mysteriously “out of order” with no explanation.
• The park restroom is locked with a handwritten sign that says “Back in 10 minutes” (but you know they won’t be).
• The public restroom at a tourist spot is undergoing “routine maintenance” at the worst possible time.

Why Bathrooms Always Close Right When You Need Them

There are actual reasons why this happens more often than you’d think:

1. Limited cleaning schedules: Most public restrooms, especially in parks and remote areas, have strict cleaning hours, which always seem to coincide with your emergency.
2. High traffic, low maintenance: Highway rest stops and gas station bathrooms get used by thousands of people a day—but often aren’t cleaned or repaired nearly as often.
3. Seasonal closures: Many park restrooms close in colder months, assuming “no one will be out here,” even though hikers, campers, and road-trippers still exist.
4. Local businesses & restroom policies: Some cafes or gas stations lock their bathrooms and require a key, forcing you to buy something just to pee.
5. The “bad timing” curse: The moment you find a restroom, you suddenly don’t need to go as urgently—until 20 miles later when there are none in sight.

Road Trip Survival: What to Do When You Can’t Find a Bathroom

Since this problem will always happen, here’s how to prepare:

• Check rest stop locations in advance: Apps like iExit or Google Maps can help you find open facilities.
• Carry emergency supplies: Travel tissues, hand sanitizer, and (for extreme cases) a portable urinal or travel toilet can be lifesavers.
• Use gas station restrooms strategically: If you stop for gas, always use the bathroom, even if you don’t think you need to.
• Ask locals for hidden spots: Small diners or grocery stores often have restrooms available when rest stops fail.
• Develop an “emergency exit plan”: If you're traveling off-grid, know the nearest park with a restroom or how to find a discreet spot outdoors.

Why This Will Never Change

No matter how much you plan, the universe enjoys playing this cruel joke. Bathrooms will always be closed when you need them most, and you will always find an open one when it doesn’t matter. The only solution? Accept it, prepare for it, and laugh about it—right after you finally find a place to go.